I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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