Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he thought i was a dude.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
