I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I need to calm my uterus...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
