Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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