It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
