So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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