Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Randomize
