Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
