When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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