please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
