Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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