So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
