We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
