I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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