Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Randomize
