Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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