she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sorry about my life...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
