Do you still have your period?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
