yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
