Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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