Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
this is an emotional support booty call
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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