omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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