Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
