my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
love makes seman taste better
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
