Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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