I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
