Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
