he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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