I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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