My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
