I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
