mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
