i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
