It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
