these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
