I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
