He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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