Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
