Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
