you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
