My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The uberlube is also flammable
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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