i need an iv and a liver transplant
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
