pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
