Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
