I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
