i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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