when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I understand Curling. That high.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
