we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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