well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
