They should really pass out barf bags in church
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
