i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
