is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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