i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize