Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
