using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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