I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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