i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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