In the future we'll all be gay
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
