I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
