I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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